Questions (Poem by Screech)

QUESTIONS

I get bored easy,

So I stir shit up.

Something new to kill the pain,

Something temporary to get me numb.

It's a bad habit,

But it's what keeps me alive.

I've reached a point,

Where dreams and reality unite.

Living out fantasies,

While my life takes a fall.

I'm reaching that point again,

I just need a fight to end it all.

To throw my pent up rage at someone,

So I've been writing again,

Because it feels like I've sunken.

I don't even know if it's true,

I've been reading too much,

I see the signs through and through.

But I don't want to rush it,

I don't want to risk anything at all.

I've been here many times before,

But it's never been so calm.

I'm scared that there might be a storm coming,

I used to revel in hurricanes,

But this time I've been dreading.

Don't want to go outside,

Don't want to take the first step.

What if it's all nothing,

Like the last three times I bet?

As always I haven't gone beyond,

Too bored, too nervous,

Too scared of the response.

So trapped in all these words,

All these expressions,

I've come to love.

I didn't even know I wanted it,

Till it came straight from god above.

So many questions,

So little time.

So many little things,

I pick up all the while.

So many moments,

So many days,

So many signs,

I've picked in your ways.

So many details,

So little thought.

So many beautiful things,

That we're not.

But we could be,

Or so I hope.

So tell me,

If you understand this,

Is this where I should stop?

Is this the finish line?

Have we already run out of time?

I still owe you those bottles of wine.

Or do you want a beer?

You’d said that you'd like that.

I just haven't gotten around to it.

I'm so careless with what I have.

Till I'm left with nothing,

Then i get back to working.

Then spend my time in writing,

While solitarily confining.

Confiding,

My darkest traits.

You've been there,

Seen my twisted fates.

I don't know if this will cause any trouble.

I like red and blue when they don't make purple.

There are things that I've probably not heard,

I have my music, it helps me when it hurts.

But we don't need voices, do we? We're absurd.

We just exchange glances,

We speak without a word.

But words we've said,

And words we've swallowed.

To certain wavelengths of the other,

We have blindly followed.

But there's a frequency,

I've heard it many a time.

It's in rhythm, it’s in tune,

It's like a harmony with a rhyme.

I've found my rage again,

Though it's not as it was before.

I get the energy from it,

But I don't build worlds anymore.

It's raw, it's brutal,

You don't seem to mind.

It's crazy, it's painful,

You seem to find it fine.

You talk just with expressions,

And I know something is messed up,

I'm here to listen.

But if I want a bit more,

Does that make me a horrible person?

You're close to ascension,

You have my faith and trust.

Tell me, do I have yours?

I'll do whatever I must,

I just,

Don't trust myself enough,

I need some help here.

The going has been rough.

Have I gotten it right?

Time travel says that I might.

So tell me,

Lager, ale or draught?

I've got nowhere to run,

Is this where I should stop?