Love? (Poem by Screech)

LOVE?

Sometimes i think i hate everything about it,

Then i regret it when i think that I've found it.

Part of me thinks I'm meant to be a wolf,

Away from what makes a personal a whole.

When i think about it, maybe i am,

Who cares if I'm awake or in coma,

Everyone loves their bit of relationship drama.

They cope, they adjust, they wake, they hate,

They think, they assume, they work, they play,

They eat, they drink, they run, they fall,

They hold, too long, they break, their fault.

They laugh, they live, they love, they mate,

They smile, they hurt, they fade, they stay,

They arrive, they celebrate,

They sing, they dance, they pay, they're late.

Everyone knows it,

Smile, snap, post it.

Let the admirers admire it.

Tired of it.

There's no shortage,

Demographics,

Recommend page after page.

Stories now have a thousand words,

But nobody reads, everybody hurts,

Click, tap, swipe, scroll,

Combine that with occasional trolls,

Is all that's left of meaning.

Am I the one in coma? Nah,

It's you that is dreaming.

Klopf Klopf! Es ist schadenfreude,

Get all the people in the world to join you,

On a roller coaster with your favorite toy,

Sounds just about right for a boy,

Let's make it so he can't make noise,

Silent suffering in endless joy,

Isn't that lovely? It's all a ploy,

To get the bandwagon ready, up and going,

It's all a game, now insert your coin,

Let laughter ensue, you know he won't cry.

Shooting darts sitting in shopping karts.

Going round walking in synthetic parks.

Let it rain, let it pour,

Let it snow, let it go.

Move over, move on,

Get over it,

All hope is gone.

“Oh no, oh god,

You're such a bad man.

You say and do things that no one understands,

You don't deserve any slack.

Guess what my psych,

I knew you'd be back.”

Like a moth to a flame,

Burning under blue skies and grey,

Running errands like yesterday,

Wasn't enough of a pain.

Ace of spades,

But I'm losing the game,

All I've got is a dumb card,

A joker.

Yes, I misspelled “karts”,

Get off my head you grammar warlord.

Yeah, H-to-O was a turning point,

Drowned in it to be reborn,

Just to see things right.

That nobody wants to talk straight,

Everyone has their little quirks,

I'm not the one who knocks,

I'm the one who lurks.

I know things inside out,

Sadness, anger, doubt.

I'm not ashamed, I'm proud,

Just a little confused,

But I'm still me and not a sellout.

They tell me I'm looking in the wrong place,

But I'm not looking at all.

It comes to me like a nightmare,

I'm helpless when history repeats itself,

Even when i do nothing wrong.

It's not the heart, it's the mind,

What's the difference?

They both clawback in kind,

It's all by design,

Stretch me out and crack my spine.

Maybe I'm just mad because I'm mad,

I don't know, apparently I'm too young,

But from what I've seen thus far

It's dumb and there's no right turn.

Apparently it transcends time and space,

Can't see it if it stares me in the face.

I try, I fail, I get up, ignore the pain,

I leave but I'm dragged back again,

Into this mess, what does it do?

It makes a ragdoll out of you.

It's all one dimensional,

One directional.

I drew all these lines,

But when I looked back,

There were just footprints in the sand.

They'll not wash away though,

They're safe from wind and high water,

I've kept them safe,

There's no quarter.

I can't afford this game.

I'm not one for a dangerous ride.

“But why?”

I'm broke and broken.

That's the reason.

My oh my.

It's scary, it's dark,

You need to hold onto someone,

Even if just for a moment,

Like laying under the stars.

You're hesitant.

“Play it off, play it cool.

Pretend it never happened.”

I wasn't going to include these lines,

It would have just died down after a while,

But everyone had to know the next day, anyway,

So why should I care?

Why should I watch what I say?

Nothing else matters,

Nothing else in common.

It's funny how that's the bottom line,

How compatible people are by design.

Their kind, their type,

That's what they believe in,

They're mostly right,

But mostly wrong.

Such things take a lifetime to solve,

Never done, never once and for all.

So why the hell do I even bother?

There's no place in life to handle another.

I've walked many miles,

I've walked them by myself,

I'll walk many more.

Though my feet are sore,

I can't stop, I've come this far.

Through thick and thin,

Fought many wars.

Got my souvenirs,

Got my battle scars.

Got my rifle on my back,

Got bullets for my valentines.

Here we go, I'm ready.

Gotta hold that scope steady.

Can't stop when I start to fire,

So better set up the funeral pyre.

I'm a glass cannon rebel,

And I'm about to rain hell.