The Specialist

The Specialist

Specifications,

Generalizations,

Wars of nations,

Radio stations,

News channels,

Solar panels,

CDs and Vinyls,

Semis and finals.

Randomly accessed,

Failing and practice,

Protect and hack shit,

Snakes on a rat stick.

Does it make sense yet?

Is it too hard to get?

Talk to talk,

Walk to run,

Where's the fun?

Used my voices,

Screaming my vices,

It has its place,

Not in everyone's face.

Need to learn, need to see,

More than ever, I need to be.

Aggro all the time,

Who am I?

Not this rat I've become,

This isn't how I fight.

I know this is not right,

So what do I do about it?

I strive to judge correctly,

But where have I misjudged it exactly?

There's no excuse,

They say it's okay,

But is it?

I've blown my fuse,

But that's not how I play.

Treated things as transactions,

Aerated arrogance in my actions.

Why? Why? Why?

Always been my question.

Nobody can answer it,

Because they don't know it either,

Right?

So I'm left to judge it,

My oh my!

My mantra is inconsistency,

Why do I chant it constantly?

Maybe I should start a cult,

"Bring me your horizons",

And sunset each and every one.

I'm Thanos, baby,

Half the world is my oyster,

Non-existent, snapped in half,

Broken in two,

Lying to reach the truth.

Said a lot of things,

Done much more,

Always been sure,

Is that called being mature?

Fought to be where I am,

I got an aggressive nature,

But I'm wise.

I've fought the gods,

Saved Prometheus from his demise.

I stand just, I stand true,

I stand tall, I stand unskewed,

Beat you black and blue,

I've got a loose screw,

A short fuse,

Never leave a clue.

Take my worst enemy,

And smash their face in the mirror.

Embrace the rage,

One with the anger.

Turn the page,

Blow up the 18th hangar.

Should I light the sky with fire?

Burn the clouds, all the nine.

I'll be okay, I'll be fine.

But I think I'm done,

Mr Nice Guy isn't fun.

Crush the resistance,

Overkill the past tense,

Look to the future,

Stitch up the suture.

Think of the nights,

Think of the days,

Prepare for the worst,

And hope to end the phase.

The end is nowhere in sight,

Oh come on,

All I know is how to fight.

How am I supposed to get better,

When there's no competition?

I need to be by own rival,

I'm the Titan, I'm the legion.

My chords are false,

My words are walls,

My cries are calls,

I've tried it all.

Damn it, alright,

Yes, I'm suspicious.

The timing's off,

It all aligns too tight,

Within hours, it's vicious.

Toxic I've been,

Toxic I shall not stay,

I need to come clean,

I'll use my words to say,

I strive to be a better version of myself,

I strive to evolve everyday.

I strive to be more than who I was yesterday.

Forgive me sister, mother, father,

I've made mistakes.

Forgive me lover, friends, comrades,

I'll make it up to you I swear.

The best apology is changed behavior,

Or so they say.

True to myself, also I must stay,

For I am my own lord and savior.

could

could

I know a lot about life,

But I know nothing about living.

I could tell you what it all means,

And you could give it meaning.

I could show you how it all feels,

And you could show me what you're feeling.

I could show you how to be,

And you could end up staying.

I could show you how to dream,

And you could tell me what you're dreaming.

I could tell you what to see,

And you could show me what you're seeing.

You could show me where to dig,

And we could dig away at our depths.

You could show me where you walk,

And we could cover all the steps.

You could tell me what you remember,

We could forget our minds.

You could tell me where to go,

We could go for a ride.

You could sing the songs you like,

Or sing along to mine.

We could do this forever,

Till the end of time.

Look to me when you break,

And we could fix you up, for our sake.

I'll look to you when I'm lost,

And we could find our battle cry,

Chip away at the rust.

You could whisper what makes you tick,

And I could make a time worth ticking,

You could tell me what makes you click,

And I could make our minds start clicking.

You could ask me your doubts,

And I'll give you no reason for doubting.

You could look to me and pout,

And I'll make you smile without speaking out loud.

We could find what makes us move,

Rev up and push through the inertia,

We could find our own little groove,

Push each other and vice versa,

We could build a world in our home,

Walk through the sands of time in Persia.

We could slow dance in a burning room,

Bear the heat like the major of ursa.

We could find what's in common,

And build something that's rare,

I know time isn't fair,

Neither is life,

But we could give it our all,

If you dare.

We could stand in a field of clovers,

Spend our time for finding four.

We could dance till the storm is over,

But not let it subside,

Look forward to what's in store.

We could climb the mountains,

We could stay in bed and chill,

We could walk and talk for hours,

We could hush and lay still.

We could rush to make sense,

We could make time to kill.

We could speak in future tense,

We could run to the hills,

We could look to the stars,

We could dig under our feet,

We could share tales of our scars,

We could have our secrets,

We could tell tales of our hearts.

You could lay your head on my chest,

I could sing a lullaby into your ears.

You could hold my head in your lap,

I could just stay as how I see us.

You could rest your head on my shoulder,

You could let out all your tears.

You could bury your face in my neck,

I'll hold you tight,

Protect you from your fears.

You could look me in the eyes,

And I could kiss you every time,

I could fight right alongside you,

And tell the world that you are mine.

We could hold hands,

And walk this life together,

We could do whatever forever,

As long as you and I are with each other,

It's us against the world,

We are one.

Sierra Delta 2015

Sierra.Delta.2015

Oh dear empress,

Lost, locked up in the tower of doom.

Stockholm syndrome for the shelter,

Made it a synagogue for the gloom.

Didn't hook me,

Before I put my jacket on,

Didn't bother listening.

Kept playing, I played along,

I'll be honest, it was fun.

Climbed as far as I wanted,

Got through what had me haunted.

Well, now I know the way,

Easy for me to say,

Really, I could stay,

I can walk, or I could run,

I could fall, that would be fun.

Maybe I could be waiting here too.

Does it matter? I don't know,

I don't think so.

All I know is it's not on me.

It's not right to assume,

The ravens don't sing,

So what do I do?

Easier to go from Sierra to Romeo,

Harder to go from Delta to Juliet.

I can't really help,

Not without decimating myself.

Should have been concomitant,

But weirdly, it's been intermittent.

Ask me questions,

I may not have all the answers,

But I'll tell you what I know,

Maybe it'll help you when you're down some.

Growing up is tough,

There are days when the weather is rough,

Days when thoughts think whether it's enough,

Nights spent lying wide awake,

A million miles and hour, runs the brain,

Not sure if it's power, or fun, or pain.

Maybe it's love?

There's no love for the lame.

Hate the player, don't hate the game.

Be water, my friend,

Talk to me, baby,

Work with me to move ahead.

What's the end game here?

What this is, is true power.

Seen it all before,

Known it for ages,

Keep it safe in store.

For myself, guess I'm meant to do this on my own,

Thankfully I'm never alone.

What did I do?

Well, I gave the answer.

Right or wrong is not my call,

I've seen and done things too,

Been a player and a dancer.

I've flown, but I've had my falls.

I've known and seen it through,

I guess I'm spreading the cancer.

Terminal through this timeless thrall.

Mr. Know All,

Walked through these tenement halls.

Liar liar,

Well, not sure what that means but sure.

Surprise surprise,

It wasn't never all too pure.

Sang away by the dime,

Becoming surer each time,

Sadly it's hard for me to stay static,

So in the static I remained.

Searched for signals,

Tuned into the same frequencies,

Everyday and again and again.

Made peace with the idiosyncrasies,

Found calm in the thunder for the rain.

Don't worry about my pain,

I've been through it before.

I have the strength to restore,

Rebuild my spirit,

Live on through the ghosts.

Live on,

With whom I've lived the most.

See through my preferred sunglasses.

Meet me when the 365th day passes.

Take the time to listen, my voice is not too loud.

I won't give in unless I'm given into,

I don't mind living in the clouds,

The carousel is easy to spin to.

But I get motion sick,

Moving forward is the only way out.

Let me be haunted by ghosts,

Do not fake it.

Be the parasite to my host,

I can take it.

Stay true, know the truth,

Accept it, do not lie,

Not just to yours truly,

Stay true to thy.