Neanic Passion (H-to-O, "N", Poem by Screech)

hello readers, yes, I apologize for this being late, but I wanted to post both of the final poems at one go. It took me some time to find the perfect pictures to make the artwork for these two, hence the delay.
I split this poem into 3 chapters, each with a different state of mind.
anyway, Neanic basically means youthful (or in this case, immature, hence "Immature Amateur's Life-ology") so what is it about?
read on.

"Neanic Passion"

Chapter 1: Retire

Dead inside,

No peace in my mind,

No motivation in my heart.

None of a kind,

Letting go of my pride,

I looked for a life among the stars.

An astronaut,

Felt like I'd forgot,

What it was to feel brave.

An imaginary plot,

A story that was not,

It will go with me to my grave.

Felt no throe,

The story existed though,

It went on and on in my head.

No sweat from my brow,

An empire of gold,

An alchemist's wonder turned to lead.

Turned parasite,

Stayed awake all night,

Designing a spaceship to fly so far.

Crashed before flight,

Wounded and in plight,

Hung all my hopes on a star.

Fell into day,

A morning of disarray,

Opened the doors to a different life.

No work all play,

An amateur's way,

Was one I'd decided to leave behind.

The story was done,

I made another one,

But the protagonist was now a blank.

But the darkness was fun,

When I got burned by the sun,

Away from the light I sank and sank.

Motivated again,

No love no pain,

The second tale went on.

Insanely sane,

No work no gain,

The story was too far gone...

Chapter 2: Reset

Maybe I should start living once more,

This new life shouldn't be the same as before,

The power I have in my mind is a force,

Untapped, Untouched, Unused and pure.

More objectives lie ahead, in front,

But my head is just as sharp as blunt.

Try and try Until I break through,

To the other side which is supposed untrue.

Chapter 3: Recover

Asleep in a bliss,

Waiting for a kiss,

Dormant, a volcano rests.

Inertia insists,

It hurts but resists,

A rebirth to reclaim the better than the best.

Worst left unsaid,

Don't fear the dread,

What lies ahead never makes itself known.

Hang on by a thread,

For glory I was bred,

I will reap from the seeds that I have sown.

That was Neanic Passion (Part 1 of Immature Amateur's Life-ology)

lookout for Part 2, which is the conclusion of HtoO, "The Optimist"