Well,
I'm not gonna lie,
It feels great to be back,
After all this time.
Words on screen,
Words on books.
I've been writing,
I've been riding,
With a bunch of crooks.
Holding up,
Holding things down.
I've got a fort,
But I don't wear a crown.
I'm just a knight in rusty armor,
Protecting the pride,
Fighting for the dusty farmer,
And his lovely bride.
No flags,
No glory,
No honor,
No story.
No words,
No poetry,
No thoughts,
No journey.
Learned lessons and taught truths,
I've destroyed bridges,
To be free from fools.
They want my fountain of no youth,
I've murdered their expectations,
They should have known beforehand.
I see their rotten philosophies everyday,
I've learned to walk my own way.
I see hypocrisy that I hate,
It suffocates me, burrows into my trachea,
Dislocates my brain and kills my new arcs.
Pressure's on,
I know me,
I know what I want,
I mean what I say,
Though I'm not one to talk.
I see dumb expectations raised,
Tell me what's wanted from me,
I'm not to blame when there's nothing,
I don't have special days.
I see confusion that is concerning,
It asphyxiates me, burrows into my cranium,
Aches my heart and murders my dreams.
Cams rolling,
Under scrutiny,
Understand the new dawn,
See what it means,
I see stupidity, and it's rampant,
Can somebody speak some sense?
No, they can't.
It obliterates me, burrows into my vertebrae,
Breaks my back and trashes my every day.
No conscience,
No masks,
No science,
No chance,
No justice,
No signs,
No sleep,
No peace.
From battery to battery,
Everyone lives on borrowed time.
From ignorance to ignorance,
They look for bliss.
From failure to failure,
They're rejected and dismissed.
They get stuck to screens,
They never learn how to fight
They run out of energy,
As they drown out of sight, staring at the fading light.
Apparently that's smart,
Apparently it's intelligent,
Apparently I'm wrong to think freedom is a right then.
Apparently they pick their wars,
Apparently they're fine with losing,
Apparently I'm wrong to think that they should be the one choosing.
Apparently not solving it when it's in your hands makes sense,
Apparently mental health cannot handle anything this intense.
Apparently nobody knows how to stick to their guns,
Apparently it's wrong to stand your ground when everybody's just ones.
Apparently my anger and rage is not the way to do things,
Apparently I'm not smart enough to understand the methods they're using,
Apparently the work I put into doing the right thing is all I have left,
Apparently they don't understand that the world isn't selfless.
Apparently it's all a game,
Apparently I am the moth, not the flame,
Apparently maintaining sanity means giving up all your best.
Oh my oh my,
I've lost my energy to rant more,
I guess I'm changing,
My anger is subsiding,
I guess even my brain can be damn sore.
I can repeat my count after I reach four,
But that's not enough, that's just what I know.
I guess my depth isn't enough anymore,
I need to be complex,
Life is such a drill, it's a bore.
I'm all for free will,
I fight for freedom,
I only widen the horizon,
I provide perspective,
I collide consecutive,
I'm a clown,
I joke judiciously,
I create crossfires,
I pay for collateral damages,
I cruise listening to rock of ages,
Rage to break cages,
Double time to solve puzzles,
I crunch problems when time is crunched,
I have instincts that they call a hunch.
They sit and try to solve me like riddles,
While I sit and write and rhyme and doodle.
I argue like I'm the lawyer, well jury's out on that one,
I act like I'm the executioner, oh come now, ain't that fun?
It's worse if it's just sad and morose, like when a disease plagues a kingdom.
I can joke and sing and scream my lungs out, call me Jester Bennington.
I've tried to unembrace it,
Throwing stones at the windows hoping one would stick.
Broken them one-by-one, broken every metric.
I stay morose in Morse,
Hollering abuses at the brains hoping one would break,
Stuck to them one-by-one, stuck knives in them.
Jealousy is an ugly word,
I never said I was gonna be pretty,
Life is messy,
Absolutes are blessings,
Too bad I'm not a man of dreams,
Too bad I spent years perfecting what I say,
Too bad people don't listen till I scream,
Too bad ignoring doesn't make it go away.
Too bad people don't think for themselves,
Too bad they just follow orders,
Too bad they can't push the blame,
Too bad that's not how the world works,
Too bad the pressure will keep mounting,
Too bad what is built on lies breaks.
As I fight the fight alone,
As I right the wrong and broken,
Who's to say I won't walk away?
Who's to say I'm not worthy today?
People are afraid to look me in the eye,
They avoid contact.
Seen too much to care, haven't I?
I still don't play fair,
Too bad I work on facts.
Just ask anybody here,
Who they see when they see me,
They'll all answer differently.
But one thing will remain,
The one thing they'll say the same,
That I'm a good guy, hehe,
They can't read me that well.
But my eyes will tell you who I am,
Look into them, and you will know,
I'm beginning again, or so I hope,
Let's hope for a b(i)etter end this time,
As I lay waiting, looking through my scope.
